All Things That We Hold Sacred
Posted on Mon Apr 25th, 2016 @ 7:46am by
I'm sitting here in my office and I cannot help but think of the recent events that are happening and I wonder what I would do if I were to lose a member or members of my family.
Though most of us are estranged now, does not mean that I don't care and/or love them. Sam will forever be in my heart, though his tastes have gone elsewhere, as for my sons James and Luke, after the talk I tried to have with them after Neral's eulogy. I find that perhaps one day I will be truly forgiven. James at least will talk with me if he is cornered so to speak and I know he has a small soft spot for me, as I did give him life.
However Luke, I fear there will never be that love we once shared when he was still dependent on me. I still do not know when and where I failed and all Sam says it's all my fault, though he was the one who walked out on us shortly after Luke was born.
I would give my life for the boys and probably to Sam too. I would and have several times mourned for Alex, but then there is Matt.
Oh my dearest Matt, though I still visit him now and then, he has never been the same after he had been taken like Neral and tortured, though I thank the lord Neral didn't have to go through that. Though Matt seems to enjoy my company, the rest of what we had has died. Oh to have him hold me and lay beside me, to chase away my fears and give me hope as a woman, are now long gone.
I pray daily that what ever is happening, ceases soon and loss of life small if not nill and I pray my loved ones come through this unscathed.